Anxiety Therapist Shares How to Deal with Stress and Anxiety
Anxiety Therapist Shares How to Deal with Stress and Anxiety
I originally wrote this blog post on stress and anxiety prior to ever hearing about COVID-19. Now, just a few short months later as I am getting ready to publish it, the entire world is impacted. My guess is, if you’ve taken a breath today, you’ve heard about the Coronavirus. This is the first time in my lifetime that the entire planet is experiencing the same stressor at the same time.
As an Orlando therapist, I help my client navigate difficult and stressful moments that happen in life.
What is stress?
Stress is caused by an external event that initiates the stress response, a shift into high gear by the Autonomic Nervous System (ANS). Examples of external stressors include financial problems, health problems, and relationship problems (eh hem, all the ways COVID-19 is impacting humankind right now). This extra boost of energy offered up by the ANS gives us the umpf we need to push through and solve these problems. When the stressor is gone or the problem is solved, the ANS automatically downshifts so that we can settle back down, feel comfortable again, and get on with our regular routine.
In short, stress is our brain and body’s response to an external stressor.
Benefits of Stress (through the eyes of the Cavemen)
In early civilization, our species relied on the ANS for survival. Think cavemen, saber-toothed tigers, and the hair-trigger stress response.
A caveman is sitting over his fire at night. He hears a crackling sound in the distance on the other side of the trees.
The caveman is experiencing an external stressor, the crackling noise, on the other side of the trees.
The caveman freezes and orients toward the crackling sound. He quickly locates his spear from the corner of his eye.
When the caveman hears the crackling in the distance, his ANS responds as if his life depends on it, because it does, in fact. His Sympathetic Nervous System (the gas pedal of the nervous system), and shifts his attention away from the fire toward the stressor, the crackling sound, as he quickly scans for his weapon. All of this happens instinctively outside of his conscious awareness.
He attentively looks and listens and then realizes that the crackling noise is a saber-toothed tiger, so he grabs his spear, and plunges it toward the tiger.
The ANS stays fixated on the stressor and activates the caveman’s fight response, all of which saved his life.
A few hours later, after having successfully kept himself safe, the caveman goes back his fire to warm up before going to bed.
The caveman’s ANS experiences a sense of completion having been activated, taken action, and resolving the threat. His Parasympathetic Nervous System, (the brake pedal), kicks in and allows him to get back to his life and routine.
How Stress Turns to Anxiety
When external stressors are continuous and unrelenting (one could view the evolving impact of COVID-19 as unrelenting), and the nervous system doesn’t get to experience the stressor as “done and over,” a few different things can happen within the ANS.
First, the ANS remains geared up and ready to take action to solve the external problem(s). It’s like the nervous system gets stuck on “on.” Being in a constant state of hyper-vigilance paves the way for anxiety.
Anxiety originates internally, often as a response to ongoing stress (this isn’t always the case, though). Where stress subsides after the stressor is gone, anxiety can keep on going much like the Energizer Bunny. Anxiety is like an unwelcome houseguest because it hangs around long after the threat is gone.
How Stress Can Shut You Down
On the other end of the spectrum, the nervous system can get so overwhelmed that the ANS automatically deploys the brake pedal because it realizes that no amount of action right now is actually going to “get the job done.”
You’ll know this has happened when you physically feel like you’re stuck in the mud or standing in quicksand. There is little to no motivation to do things because the feeling of overwhelm is like a heavy weight pressing down on your shoulders or chest.
Coping with COVID Stress and Anxiety
As mentioned, the entire world is experiencing stress from COVID-19, from physical health threats, threatening our livelihood, straining relationships, creating unwanted isolation, and decreasing our quality of life. On the most fundamental levels, COVID-19 is challenging our instincts for survival.
This. Is. A. Stressful. Time.
While the stress we feel relating to COVID-19 is threatening our survival instincts much like the cavemen, the threat is not immediately on the other side of the trees. Unfortunately, for us though, our nervous system hasn’t gotten that memo.
Since the nervous system seems to orient to things as if we are under immediate siege, we need to help it understand that we are actually safe right now. I have detailed how to do that here in this article and here in this guided mindfulness practice.
I also encourage you to extend grace…. to yourself and everyone around you. Lower the bar for yourself, for your productivity, for your ability to balance things, for your partner, for your kids, and for the customer service representative answering the phone. During these stressful times, choose to be more accepting and forgiving because everyone is doing the best they can.
Stressful times call for an outlet of some sort, to help release the tension and the pressure. As we are entering the fifth week of social distancing, I challenge you to explore whether your outlets have been healthy or unhealthy so far.
Unhealthy Coping
If you’re unsure, just answer this simple question. Does your coping offer you relief now but make you feel worse later? If the answer is “yes,” then you’ve found yourself an unhealthy coping strategy. The thing about unhealthy strategies is that they compound your problems over time. Unhealthy coping is like a quick release button that ejects you out of a crashing plane (yay), but have you landing in an alligator pit (boo). There is no happy ending here, as you can see.
Examples of unhealthy coping are:
Abusing drugs/alcohol/nicotine
Over-eating
Over-sleeping
Over-spending
Over-working
Self-criticism
Avoiding problems
Healthy Coping
Healthy coping, on the other hand, offers you relief now with no collateral damage; feel better now and later (yay, we like that!).
Since stress and anxiety trigger a “take action” reaction in the nervous system, capitalize on that. Is there anything you can do or need to do right now to help your situation? If yes, use the extra energy to get S*** done!
If you’ve done everything you can to help your cause, then it’s time to pour your energy into something else that will yield positive dividends.
Examples of Healthy Coping Strategies:
Exercise
FaceTime friends and family
Cuddle your pets
Eat Healthy
Sleep/Rest
Go for a walk outside
Take a bubble bath
Send someone a gift through Amazon
Journal
Rekindle your spiritual or religious practice
Set boundaries or say no
Start a gratitude practice
Laugh
Have a picnic in your yard
Listen to music
Paint or draw
Practice mindfulness
Practice guided visualizations
Please don’t get me wrong, y’all. I am not suggesting you have the time or liberty to spend all of your days basking in the sun right now. Many of us are trying to work from home, homeschool the kids, and keep the peace, all while stuffed under one roof like a pack of sardines. This is no vacation we are on. What I am suggesting, though, is to carve a little time for self-care and healthy coping that will nurture your body and your soul.
Ready to start anxiety counseling in Orlando?
Our counselors at Mindful Living Counseling Orlando are here for you. Our highly trained team of anxiety therapists will help you feel peace and calm again. To get started with one of our counselors:
Fill out our New Client Consultation Form
Schedule a consultation call with our Client Care Coordinator
Start your healing journey
Not Quite Ready for Anxiety Counseling?
We have a highly trained team that is ready to help you on your healing journey. The therapists at Mindful Living Counseling will help you gain tools that will help you overcome any anxiety you may be struggling with. If you’re not ready, we understand.
Additional Covid Resources
10 Tips to Settle Coronavirus Anxiety
Navigating Friendships During A Pandemic
Additional Resources for Stress
Anxiety Therapist Shares: Gift Ideas for People With Stress and Anxiety
5 Ways to Become More Gentle With Yourself
Finding Calm within the Storm: Guided Mindfulness Practice for Anxiety
177 Ways to Ground Yourself Now
Other Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando, FL
Our therapists understand that anxiety may not be the only challenge you may struggle with. That’s ok. We offer a variety of therapy services at Mindful Living Counseling which include Trauma therapy, EMDR therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, Toxic Relationship Therapy, and Teen Therapy. We encourage you to check out our Guided Meditations. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out!
About the Author
As an Orlando Therapist, Lauran Hahn, LMHC, specializes in working with clients struggling with anxiety. She also specializes in boundaries and supporting her clients in healing from toxic relationships. Lauran works to help her clients feel calm in their bodies and have peace in their minds during stressful and anxious times.
